Thursday, 31 January 2008


WTF!!!!!!!!yesterday was one of the most boring days of my life.i was hoping for a streak of good days after 3 back to back bad days,guess it doesnt work that way.i didnt miss an entree yesterday,i already typed everything in and my connection suddenly faild.cant be bothered to typed everything again,such a waste of cooking didnt go very well.i'll put up what i did in the other blog but seriously,the cooking was session was alright although my feet still hurts from previous games.and thats basically it.nothing exciting nor was alright though,i was told that my idea for my coursework was too technical and tooooooo ambitious,i know it is but its just soo interesting.i'm being practical though by not doing it cos its never gonna turn out well cos i know i dont have enough knowledge on it. my dad just askd me again boutthe summer school,sooner or later i'll have to tell him that i dont wanna go,i would prefer to spend my summer doing sumthing that i like rather than what he wants me to do.its the only chance i have before uni.i would love to go back to teaching the burmese kids, although i wouldnt mind doing something else. i was planning to go to japan for the summer but by the looks of things,i''ll probably have to postpone my trip.i daydreamed once of being a waiter in a restaurant,not for a career but just for the fun of it.i love engaging with ppl and being a waiter does just that. i almost when to search for a job last summer but was held back cos my dad doesnt want me to work for money at that current moment.just imagine,there i was trying to be independent but shot down by my own dad. i know his intentions was good,he wants me to study for my exams(which i should have) but whats wrong with me trying to get exp working in a restaurant?i once went to an opening of my dad's friends restaurant(madam kwans),he named the place after his mom,and eversince then i always wanted to do that.i reckon my mom would love that,a restaurant of her own,just imagine,Lady Suri's.haha,i told my mom about it and she seems quite mom loves cooking and trust me her cooking is heavenly. Uncle Tab always asked whens the next time my mom is gonna cook her nasi dagang(he loves itsoo much).enough boasting about my mom,she'll blush if she reads this,but i promise u,its true. i also (once u pon a time) wanted to work as a concierge at a hotel.its another one of those jobs where u need good social skills.ok,that is it,ive decided that regardless of what my dad is gonna say,i'm gonna work during the summer,yeah i!(not gonna tell him yet though)

no time

i really dont have time to type anything today but i just feel that i need to,i havent missd a day since starting this and i aint starting now.cant believe i'm doing soo much today. amazing,after three days of bad luck,heres a good day at last,yeehaw


i got a friend ebo(ladies beware,he's a god) and he has this thing of saying boo whenever anything goes dull.well my dear firnd,heres one for ya, BOOOO!!!!! wth is wrong with today.i knew it that today was gonna be a bad day(bad things happen in threes) but that was just soooo boring.i wouldnt mind a day of misfortunes,at least its interesting but a boring day?wtf.. my day started out with me having woken up late,a cold shower,dd lessons and speaker, just when i thought nothing else can bore me,tv today came out dull. the only good thing that came out from today was hamchi.i actually got it last night from poh but its up and running now.what it does basically is allow me to 'socialize' a bit more with friends in the network. chong intro-d me to it, jacky persuaded me and jing gave it.thanks you three if ever ure reading this(which i doubt). i just got a bit more tips on pak choi(i typed bak choi in my other blog) and the actual way of cooking it.nicee.i was told this morning that for a guy,i got some cute emoticons,what can i say, i got some cute friends who try to insert their cutenesss into their messenger conversations(which actually works) and cos i kinda like em,i took em .some ppl dont seem to like emoticons though,i dont really see why cos the way i think of it,it avoids misunderstanding of what i'm trying to say. and it does just that. i took em from a lot of ppl(although not part of them,i know quite a number of 'cute' ppl),havent said thanks to any of em but i reckon they understand. i had this weird conversation over supper about tarantino.if none of u ever heard of him ,he's a director. he's the guy who directed(duhh) death proof,hostel 1&2,pulp fiction and kill bill.i think he's sick(have u seen his films?they are sick,ergh) but ted thinks he's cool. conflict of opinions,it alwasy happens doesnt it?thething is,the effects are horrible although the story lines are sumtymes quite amazing. not my fave fact,i dont even know that many directors to be sad is that?i know actors fave is d. washington,he has a thing for picking the righht film to star in and i just love any film with him in it.u gotta see hurricane,the sentinals,american gangster(the quite recent one) and man on fire (cant quite remember the name but i got if off bel). dont download them illegally though cos its a bit unfair to the ppl involved in making the film. they have every right to charge us rip-off prices so that they get super rich and become spoilt.yup,thats right,its their law given right.nah,i'm just joking but seriously dont download them illegally.have u read the papers?50 k if u get caught.i can nvr get that kind of money.i aint nvr gonna download stuff illegally,hell no.owh hell,i'm BS-ing again.gotta learn how to stop.


not gonna do a long one today since got loads of stuff i wanna do right now. today was pretty much like yesterday,a dull day.someone once told me that bad things happen in threes so i would assume tomorrow to be dull as well.another hate tale. i was playing football in the afternoon and we were divided into 4 teams. i really didnt care that my teammates arent as good as the others(not saying i'm good either) but if ever there were ppl who follow what my mom would say a 'tong kosong',it was them. i cant believe i had the misfortune of knowing these ppl who rate themselves so highly without knowing where they really stand.again,i'm not saying i'm good but at least i dont go on telling ppl how awful they are and how good i am. the fact that i know i'm average if not below keeps me at bay where as these ppl not knowing they suck keep talking was soo erghhhhh...perhaps its their right to say wtv they want but how i wish they did it without me hearing it.enough bout that,too much hate in my blog already. i'm continuing to teach myself japanese,its been hard but i reckon if given the time,i could be able to master basic japanese communication.there was always this wanting i had of going to japan.why not?its a beautiful place, loads of culture,amazing food(my fave in fact), and the history(they occupied us once but who cares anymore,let bygones be bygones).i was thinking of going there sumtime in the summer,which is straight after the exams. my dad would prob say no cos he just askd me whether i would like to go on the harvard summer school. i dont really have to think about it cos i know the answer to it already.he'll be disappointed but,its not the first time.aight,this is gonna drag on,i might as well stop here.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

u annoy me sooo much

my allnighter didnt work out as well as i hoped,by 3-ish,i ran out of papers to do,bummer.the exams went alright actually,i quite enjoyed answering the doesnt matter anymore cos EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!! i'm gonna enjoy the next few days before banging my brain against the wall made of my next set of exam questions. today in general isnt really exciting,the same old wednesday.i almost lost it today cos of a certain sumone. it annoys me when ppl repeat themselves over and over again.just imagine this,everytime i'm about to have a meal,this guy goes "ure not allowed to have that,it was murdered in the most brutal way".now,i dont really care to be honest if its a once in awhile thing but he does it every meal time. i just ignore him most of the time but i know thats just rude. just because he's efforts in trying to be funny isnt really working,i should at least pay a bit of attention and maybe fake a laugh but then again,that would just undermine him. its just one of those things u just wish didnt have to happen.i never liked ignoring ppl but as a person,i have my limits.i remember ignoring this one 'girl' that got hold of my hp number and wanted to 'get to know' me(its a once in a lifetime thing,well,not really).its not that i dont wanna knw her(well i dont to be honest),but come on,what kind of girl would miss calld a stranger and expect me to call back?she didnt even introduce herself,how rude.i've ignored her long enough for her to stop txting and miss calling me but 2 friends of mine got infected,haha(no,i'm not having laugh on other ppls misfortunes,well perhaps i am,haha)its probably my fault anyway cos i asked them to check who it was.the reason as to why i refer that person as 'girl' cos i'm not sure whether if it was a 'her' and it could be sumone pulling a prank. i used to be in a boarding school and i recall this one time when a friend of mine ,pretending to be a girl, txt another friend of mine,flirting and stuff like that,back then it does seems funny but if ure on the other end,it'll probably be embarassing.i fear that,honestly i do.this is way out of topic,haha.owh yeah,ignoring sumone. well heres the thing,my religions(well my islamic studies teacher) once told me that i may hate ones actions but not the person.easier said than done.i never achieved it although i have been trying.its so hard not to hate a person if his/her actions annoy you.the way i do it is rather than blame that person i blame myself for not being able to accept whatever it is they do that annoys me.sad isnt it?

Friday, 25 January 2008

two down,one left

u know that feeling you get after doing well in an exam?today i had the opposite of that feeling. i reckon i did so badly on that paper tha i was better off not doing it in the first place. cant really describe how terrible that feeling was as i walked out from the hall.anyway,it passed already, time to move onWhat?sumthing wrong with me moving on with my life?its not like anything i do now can change the fact that i did badly on that paper,so why bother?got an exam tomorrow which i reckon i can actually score.having said that,i've decided during lunch to do an allnighter tonight. physically i'm ready cos i did today's sleep yesterday so that would help keep me awake for the whole night/ plan is to do as many pass papers as possibleand finishing off with jan 07 which i have never done so that i'll know where i stand at the the end of my all honesty,i wouldnt mind doing the paper right now cos i'll be happy to get it over and done with.i hate the feeling when ure facing ur last paper.its soo annoying. it makes u feel like time is passing by so ever slowly(just a feeling,not really happening though) and waiting is such a bore.after the 2 papers chong told me bout re animating sumthing he saw on the web. i believe he told me before but he said it again today.its sumthing to do with coke and mentos.i've seen it before and i really dont mind joining him. however,i had this feeling that today was just not the right day to do it so i convinced him to do it over the weekend.the prospect of exploding cokes does really excite me although i really hate wasting coke(it is such a good drink). i was told that there wont be a trip to the malaysian night(i thought it was a day,not night but nevermind),felt quite sad though cos i really wanted to go.(haha,no seriously,i do)but guess its fated that i am not meant to go.haaaa..i just love it when ppl say its fated to be this or that way.personally i use it a lot cos my vocabulary aint really that big(too lazy to expand it) and u really cant go wrong by saying its fate. i never used it on girls before cos its way too cheesy for my taste(actually i'm way too shy to say anything to em).wait,u know what,i reckon i was fated to do badly in that paper,yeah thats right, God must have planned sumthing else for me..hmm...(i probably should stop now cos i'm gonna BS if i go on,haha)

realllly short one

i cant really write anything long today since i got a connection prob so i'm typing as quick as possible. got an exam tomorrow that i'm really not preapared to do but its not like i have a choice.i've decided not to burn the midnight oil probably because its an essay based paper so i need to conserve as much energy as possible. three hours of writing require a lot of energy,a hell of a lot. nothing interesting to day.i was invited to a malaysian day but i'll probably wont be able to og,not because i'm being anti social or anything but i reckon i got plans this weekend.haih.i wish i can type longer


omg..i was hit hard from yesterdays antics.remember i said i didnt sleep at all the day before?well after doing a bit of exercise,fatigue hit me and i slept like a baby might be good for my health though cos i needed the rest.this morning i had a problem waking up. normally i would just wake up without even an alarm clock by my side but what happened this morning was that everytime i woke up,i convinced myself to sleep again.wth was i thinking.nevermind,its passed already so i dont really care.i dont regret it htough cos now i feel more energize than the same time yesterday.good for me.another day another exam.still have 3 more to go but at least i've done the heardest one already. unlike most ppl, i just feel good when its done and over with. not bcos of the fact i did very well in the exam(which i really doubt) or i dont care about the results(which i do in all honesty),its bcos i dont really think of it. the way i see it,i've done the paper so just leave it alone.any regret know wouldnt change the fct i've done it regardless good or bad. although one could argue that if u regret now u could start acting now to be more ready for the next one.its one of those thing i truly appreciate about myself. the ability to slow things down.a few years ago i wouldnt say the same thing cos i was always in a rush for no apparent reason most of the wasnt until i left secondary school that i realise what i should be like for the current moment,slow and the short run..yes.the thing is that i know that in the future there might not be a chance to slow down and chill.i got a friend who is working at the moment although she's only 21. just imagine,she works around 10 hours on weekdays and sometimes on weekends.with that kind of hectic life,how the hell is she suppose to enjoy her life.she cant be slow or lazy,maybe on sundays but what bout other days? although i have this feeling that she's probably gonna be really successful,she had her firstclass honours in bio med atthe age of 20,i can never do that(prob cos i'm not gonna do bio med) but still it does make me think,i'm 19,how long do i have left before i have to be like her.slow and chilled,thats how i'm living at the moment

Thursday, 24 January 2008


this past few days didnt really work out very well. like this morning,i was damn confident with my mechanics but the exam provd me wrong. i didnt even sleep that night just to make sure i can score for friends called me crazy cos well lets be honest,it does sounds crazy. who in their right mind would go a day without sleeping right before the exams?me,butthen again,i'm probably not in the right state of mind so...yesterday i had a shocking revelation.somehow in my mind yesterday it it seems more logical for me to just head back to malaysia and study there.i know i'm not the most clever of ppl but wth was i thinking. no one would ever passd up the oppurtunity to study abroad and there i was thinking of going back.ridiculuos. but i reckon the only way i could ever be successful academically is by getting as far as possible from my friends. not saying that my friends are abad influence,mind u,some of myfriends are geniuses,one guy even won the bank negara special award, but when it comes to allocation oftime,family and friends are my priority. whenever i come back for holidays,there nvr seems to be time to study cos in my mind i always feel the need to spend time with those close to me. got a few more exams coming up in a few days and i wonder if i should prioritise cos that way will reduce the need to do loads of retakes where as doing average in all papers menas i haveto retake all of em cos i doubt my dad would be content with average. like i said before,i had an all nighter trying to prepare for my mechanics,my all nighter unlike most consist of me not having any sleep and work for 45-50 mins sessions with a 10-15 mins break in between session.crazy, and it requires a lot of determination. this can only be an act of desperation from a lazy person. regardless,the ability to achieve such feat is sumthing most of my friends here found amazing. it just hows how diff we r.i was dubbed the oddest person they have ever met and i cant blame then,its not that often they met malay much less a me,its quite abnormal but its not rare. i know a few ppl who are on 2 hours a day of sleep and they're crazier than i am.i can only do all nighters once in awhile and i nvr do them in a row although physically i know i can hold out much longer but its the mental aspect that puts me off.i just cant be bothered.i apologizei didnt post my 'song'.i promise ya, i did write it but i only got the chorus and it sure is original,thats the important bit so i'm holding it off until i get the inspiration to write the start.haih..what a bad few days

Monday, 21 January 2008

song writing

in my quest to experience as many things as possible i have decided that today i'm gonna write a song. weird,i'll admit but i have come to think that if william hung can sing,whats wrong with me song writing. anyway,its not like i'm gonna make a career out of it,its a one off unless i have this same feeling in the future so look out for tomorrows entree which is my song.yeah,tomorrow,i've only decided it afew minutes ago so give me time to write,i aint no professional nor am i that artistic. this feeling is probably due to the fact that i've been karaoke-ing all day on my room and just wondered what it feels like to have my very own song,quite childish actually but once i think about it,u get to be a child once so let me be,or as the beatles would have it said let it be.i have no idea what kind of song i would wanna write.i recall in 5th form a friend of mine came into my cube(its just a small space with 4 walls and a door) and asked me to write a lyric for his song.he had the tune to it but i had no idea what to write about back then.anyway, he had theidea and thats the important bit.i reckon i could get one of my friends to sing it(he has a hell of a voice,trust me). i got the tune in my head but i fear that its quite similar to mostsongs we hear. the least that i want from my song would probably be originality cos if i'm gonna do this,i wanna do it right.ok hold that thought,just had a brainstorm.

Sunday, 20 January 2008

MOving in

Just moved a few stuff that was in my computer.i reckon i should limit my time blogging cos i heard stories on how blogging can be addictive. feels good though,having my very own blog. apparently some ppl just blog about their daily lives while others wait till sumting interesting happens and write a massive entree. i reckon i wanna do both(not cos i can,which i doubt,but cos i'm too lazy to decide) and since i really have doubts anyone would actually read my blog(i aint no celeb,nor do i force my friends to read my blog) so everything would prob bekept in here. I could keep it in my computer but having a blog would allow me to access it almost anywhere witout having the hussle to bring my own computer.My first step to becoming a professional author(yeah right)

behind stone walls

behind stone walls
from the starting point,
we nvr wntd to disappoint
but what if its meant to be
the curse that is we
thinking maybes
always feeling sorry
never will be funny
no one to call baby
among most
we chose to stay off coast
never were good hosts
always trying to boast
pretending to be flawless
although always careless
emotions r kept hidden
as if they're forbidden
behind an act to protect
everything that is intact
friends that are forever
against those who'll say its over
although it might just be her
we'll back down for a brother
perhaps thats our answer
to our slightest honour
we know by our tone
ppl cursed to be live alone
silently hiding behind walls of stone
to be perfectly honest,i was thinking of making behind stone walls a song rather than just a rhyme. but i cant really write songs so i have but no choice but to just type it out.its notas good as i wished it to be but then again,i was nvr good in the first place.i envy song writers espt the good ones since the havethe ability to make music soo good that other ppl see it as music,where as if i ever wrote a so called song,it'll prob be more noise pollution rather than anything else.the fact that my rhyming sucks still annoys me.i dont think its act proper to just find words that rhyme and do sentences based on both. i could be wrong though. anyhow,its there,i know it sucks,i might update it from time to time since i have no better things to do with my life , and it'll prob stay until i realise how immature i am and take it out of the system like did my last does in most ways sound depressing prob due to the fact that at the current moment i'm not as cheerful as can be,got a huge buirden i need to lay off. anyway,so here it is, behind stone walls.

thinking too much

this could be a bit controversial so dont f@ckin read it if u just takin the piss out of it.anyway,its what i think,its my blog!Recently,i just read this bulletin below,its about a guy who punched a Chinese bloke cos the bloke insulted the guy's prophet:
Baca dengan hati seorang ISLAM
Saya ingin berkongsi cerita in dengananda semua mengenai sikapsegelintir orang Melayu kita atau lebihtepat lagi orang Islam diMalaysia ....
Kejadian benar ini berlaku di CarrefourWangsa Maju beberapa harilepas.Seorang pemuda Islam yang berkerjasebagai 'cashier' di pasarayatersebut telah menumbuk seorang lelakicina. Ini berlaku kerana ketikapemuda cina tersebut sedang membayarharga barangan, pemuda Melayu ini telahmenegur pemuda Cina ini mengenai gambarbaju yang sedang di pakai oleh pemudacina tersebut.Gam bar itu ialah seekor babi yangsedang memakai serban di samping seekoranjing yang memakai tudung lambangagama Islam. pemuda Melayu itu bertanyagambar apakah yang sedang di pakai olehpemuda cina tersebut.Den gan rasa bangga dan tidak bersalah,pemuda Cina itu terus menjawabsambil menunjuk ke arah gambar bajuny adengan mengatakan babi yangmemakai serban itu ialah Muhammad dananjing yang memakai tudung ituialah Khadijah. Mendengar jawapanlelaki tersebut, pemuda Melayu inidengan tidak disangka2, menumbuk mukasi Cina tersebut.Hur u hara lah suasana di carrefour itu.Kemudian pemuda Cina itumemaki hamun lalu datanglah ManagerCarrefour yang juga beragama Islam lalumemecat lelaki Melayu tadi. Apa yang dilakukan oleh Manager Carrefour tadiadalah sa tu etika yang patut dicontohi kerana, menumbuk org sesukahati memanglah salah...Tapi malangnya, Manager tersebut bukanhanya memecat pemuda Melayu tadi yangsedang mempertahankan akidah agamaIslam, tetapi turut memaki hamun pemudaMelayu itu dengan kata2 kesat.Pemuda Melayu ini pulang dengan keadaanhampa. Bukan kerana di pecat,tetapi turut di maki hamun oleh saudaraseislam yang di sangkanya akanturut manjaga maruah orang Islamselepas di hina oleh laki Cina tadi.Sekaran g ni pemuda Melayu ni sedangmenunggu untuk di saman oleh Cinatersebut. Beliau bukan takut malahtidak sabar2 untuk menunggu disamanoleh Cina tersebut kerana beliau adaalasan yang kukuh kerana bertindakdemikia n.Pengajaran nya, sikap pemuda Melayu tadimemang patut di contohi keranaingin menegakkan agama Islam.Pada anda, berhati2 la..kerana sayapercaya, tshirt yang di pakai olehCina tadi adalah salah satu strategiorang2 kafir untuk menjatuhkanmarua h Islam.Sebark an kepada saudara2 Islam kita..!<>1.Jika anda orang islam sila sebarkanmaklumat ini..!!2 .Jika anda orang bukan islam,diingatkan jangan sesekalibermain dengan api di negara malaysiaislam ini----------------------------------------------------------------------Sorry for those who dont understand Malay,I'll translate it when i have the time.The thing about this bulletin is that I find it a bit enlightening to know that the Chinese bloke know Khadijah,which is more than what u would expect from a non-muslim,and what do mostof us know about the bloke's religion?i have no idea. I'm not saying he's to blame for getting punched but i cant say the guy is right to punch him in the first place. But does it change anything by punching him?the person who posted the bulletin in the first place seems to think we should follow in the guys footsteps and punched any other person wearing an insulting shirt. How would that change anything? no wonder ppl think muslims are terrorist,theres muslims telling other muslims to punch other ppl cos of what they wear. i know punching aint as bad as blowing stuff up,but isnt the idea the same. Retaliate by using violence? And by punching ppl doesnt that inflict terror?so could it be that this person is telling muslims to turn in to terrorist?I remember a story about my prophet that was insulted while he was preaching through a town,Gabrielle came down an offered to move two mountains above the town crushing eveyone beneath,and my prophet said no,instead he prayed that their children would see the truth.Even the Islam prophet would not prefer violence,y should other muslims. take up arms only to protect thats what i would say . And whats all this about strategy of non-muslims to insult Islam?now y would they wanna do that?come on,he is just one guy,one guy!!,how Is it right to blame others just cos one bloke wore a controversial t-shirt?Its the same as saying muslims are terrorist cos a few muslims blew up the trade centers?Owh wait,muslims didnt do it,it was a conspiracy by the american gov...No2,its the 'ews..or maybe it was the ch'''se...who f@cking cares!!!some ppl just think too much..when would we learn to accept that there are other ppl with other's a link to a south park series... ..... just watch it, its quite funny..ok back to where i stopped,owh yeah, when would that be? the only way we can get along well is when we ourselves start to be a bit more understanding and chill out a bit.i dont know,this is just the thoughts of a teenager .who am i to say that world peace can be achieved when ppl accept others as they are?.i sumtymes envy the Christians,dont get me wrong,i dont wanna convert into Christianity but have u seen or heard what ppl are saying or how some are portraying Jesus?Loads of shows do it,and u dont see Christians blowing things up. And dont give me the 'they're not devout enough' or 'they cover it up' bullsh!t. U dont see their Pope going 'blow stuff up' ,'go to war',or 'kill infidels'. Quite amazing how ppl could get so paranoid but again,who am i to say about sumone else? Fayzal to be honest,just another guy around the block.funny enough,if we joke about our own religion its fine but if someone else does it its wrong?too much thinking..confuses me..

Saturday, 19 January 2008

who made u an expert?

my first actual entree,kay,fuuh,here it goes

ever had that feeling that u really cant be bothered when sumone jumps out of no where and starts correcting what ever u say as if they were all mighty in knowledge? annoying isnt it?in my life i there had been many occasions where ppl correct me,i'll gladly accept any correction made if ever i was wrong but its when i'm right and sumone tries to 'correct' that,now thats a waste of my time.not that i dont waste anytime myself but having already wasted al ot of my time,i dont need help from anyone to waste more of it.its not like i'm gonna live till forever. correcting others is fine to some extent but what annoys me the most is when ppl start telling you u shouldnt and u should. hello!!i believe this is a free country,i have the freedom to choose although in all honesty we're not really free,are we?just think about it,kids have to go to school cos their paretns make them go,if they dont,they'll prob get scolded and at the end ofthe day,they go anyways.grown ups,go to work,they have to cos they're scared of being redundant so we arent really free.we need tp pay for most stuff,we live by soo many rules and yet we have this belief that we're free,probably we are but to an extent.owh yeah,annoyin having the coldness to ignore ppl when they start to annoy,i'm not a very popular person but the way i look at it is as if it was and still is a blessing. i know,its rude but just think bout it,would u even care if u put too much sugar in your coffee if that was how u like it?so what if i'm a guy and i can cook? who cares if the egg comes first?(although i have to say that god made the grown animals so its prob chicken)it doestn really matter. there could be the possibilaty that those ppl were just trying to make conversation or perhaps it was a pick up line(which i really doubt) but surely there must be other ways.(talking bout pickup lines,i have this shirt i bought from wh which has "i lost my number can i borrow yours",cheeky aint it?)its pointless to continue talking bout how i'm always wrong and they're always right(ok2,it could be right all along,but cut me some slack,my ego needs it as much as urs does)because if i'm right i'll just shove it up their faces the next time we meet(well,not really,but since i'm writing a blog,its good to release a bit of emo) and if i'm wrong i'll just keep quite about it so we're not really gonna have a conversation if i just keep silent(although there was this one time when a friend of mine did all the talking and i barely said a word and still it was a conversation,long one as well). but i reckon this is all prob to give our egos a bit of pleasure.i'm not gonna lie,i know i do it sumtimes myself cos i know how good it feels liketo be on theother end but there is always a limit to everything and if i can limit it,y cant they do it?or perhaps by chance they only do it to me?just another unlucky year then.

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Starting point

Just thought of starting a blog. Having spent a lot of time day dreaming of what could be and what could have been, there has been nothing else to day dream about so I'm moving professions from a professional 'scriptwriter' to an author. I reckon i could improve my skills by the constant tapping of keys and entree typings. Hopefully this could also help me write my article for our upcoming paper. Have i said that i'm a journalist? In all honesty, i'm not a 'real' journalist that writes for a daily paper or sumthing like that,no, i'm just a journalist for a small town paper that publishes an issue every few months. Not really a big thing though because my articles arent really sumthing people are interested in probably because they reflect me as a person(or maybe,this is more realistic, i just cant write anything better). starting a blog could be the perfect remedee to cure my inability to write any good material. Having came back from the holidays,i now find myself facing 13exams and at this current moment,i'm writing my blog. interesting isnt it? i have this philosophy that i will learn when i have the need to.the only problem with that is that i never feel the need to study. The lack of incentive could be explained by the fact that i am one of the leading masters in the arts of SLIM(slacked life is me) and also because there has been to many distractions in my life. I could give more excuses but that would just be too much effort and energy wasted. I know that at the end of all this i will regret every second that i wasted. I have strong beliefs that for that same reason why we feel that life is so short. the amount of time we waste is ridiculous. just last night,i watched a film,meet joe black. for those who might not know, the film tells a story bout a man who is nearing to his 65th birthday having achieved almost everything a man could dream of. A few days shy of his birthday, he's visited by death who took a human form. death made a deal with him that he will be given more time in exchange of being deaths guide in this human long as death is interested, he lives.having known hisdeath would be coming,he became moreofa family man,having meals with his children everynight contrast to the once in awhile meals they had before.he thinks ofthe life he lived and believed that he would be satisfied with his life. now,i'm not really that good with explaining stories much more telling them but it does struck me that i would give anything to have the life he had.this lead me to day dream a bit after wards and reality bit me. it was just a film.even so, i remember a quote form the film,65 years wasnt that long.its the same wiht all of us isnt it?i could say 18 years wasnt that long,and the guy next to me could say that 30 years wasnt that long.and all because we waste so much time on things that we probably wouldnt even remember of doing.sleep for instance. assuming we sleep 8 hours a day,that counts to 121 days give or take in a year.thats almost a third of a year on sleep alone. and can we act remember anything whilst we're asleep with the exception of dreams which i doubt a person could dream everynight.another important session is what i refer to as DAN(doing absolutely nothing). i'll admit i do that myself and it does sometimes annoy me that i actually do it.that would take more time of the year.take away those times,study sessions,travelling,and whats left? only a few hours of cherished moments. i'm petrified at this fact because i'm afraid my time with family and friends are going to be limited. being so far from home,it makes me think whether i'm makingthe right choice.cos,eventually,once you're far away,people you knew tend to drift away. this is evident as ever since i moved ,i barely keep in touch with my old friends and now,i have beliefs that some might have already forgot about me,not that its a bad thing for them of course.not that it matters anyway,i'm quite content with the friends i have right now. theres a saying you dontknow what you got until you lose it. personally if its fated that i lose something,then as the beatles would have said,let it be. there will always be something better to be found if only we took the time to look.but thats just it isnt it?we dont have any left to spare.